Written by Ashton Snyder on
 February 27, 2025

JFK's relationship with Kirk LeMoyne Billings explored through a lifetime

An unlikely friendship between John F. Kennedy and Kirk LeMoyne "Lem" Billings that began at an elite boarding school in 1933 evolved into a complex relationship spanning three decades.

According to the Daily Mail, the relationship between Kennedy and Billings continued throughout JFK's presidency, with Billings maintaining his own bedroom in the White House private residence despite Jackie Kennedy's reservations.

Their connection started when Kennedy was 15 and Billings was 16 at Choate boarding school in Connecticut. The friendship flourished despite significant differences in their personalities and social standings, with Kennedy being charismatic and popular while Billings took on a more devoted supporting role.

Early years shape unusual bond at Choate

Their time at Choate was marked by extensive correspondence and shared experiences. Billings became a constant presence at the Kennedy family compound on Cape Cod, integrating himself into their social circle.

Their classmate Rip Horton observed the dynamic between them, noting Billings' dedication to Kennedy. He performed various tasks for Kennedy, from doing laundry to providing massages for his chronic back pain.

The relationship was documented through numerous letters which Billings preserved despite Kennedy's frequent requests to destroy them. These communications often contained personal details about their lives and experiences.

Jackie Kennedy navigates complex dynamic

When Jacqueline Bouvier entered Kennedy's life in 1952, she quickly understood that accepting Billings was non-negotiable. Their marriage ceremony took place in Rhode Island the following year.

Jackie later confided in Senator George Smathers about Billings' constant presence, expressing frustration about never having private time with her husband. She noted that Billings was always present, helping Kennedy with personal tasks.

The situation drew attention from various quarters, including the FBI and CIA, who worried about potential security implications. However, Jackie ultimately came to appreciate Billings' loyalty and discretion.

Relationship extends beyond Kennedy's death

After Kennedy's assassination in 1963, Billings struggled to move forward. He later formed a close relationship with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., becoming a significant figure in the younger Kennedy's life.

Billings took on a paternal role with Bobby Jr., particularly after Robert Kennedy's assassination in 1968. This relationship included shared vacations and oversight of Bobby's education at Millbrook boarding school. The arrangement raised concerns among some observers, including Millbrook teacher James Hejduk and local resident Mark Bontecou, who noted Billings' intense focus on Bobby Jr.

Historical legacy leaves lasting impact

The deep connection between Kennedy and Billings remained significant throughout American political history, shaping both men's lives until Billings' death in 1981 at age 65. Billings never married and maintained his dedication to the Kennedy family until his final days. His last conversation centered on concerns about Bobby Jr., expressing regret about certain aspects of their relationship.

Eunice Kennedy Shriver delivered Billings' eulogy, acknowledging his lasting impact on the family. The complex relationship between Kennedy and Billings continues to provide insight into the personal life of one of America's most scrutinized presidents.

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About Ashton Snyder

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